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Sunday, June 1, 2008 . 4:03 PM

Last night slpt early cuz i was reali tired.. I like fell aslp almost immediately after chargin my phone la.. this morning went to church and i was quite upset bout the turnout in church.. Why issit that people cant jus commit themselves.. i mean its like jus one dae in a week, 4 daes in a month that they come to church la.. Issit reali that difficult?? hais.. she came to church todae.. made a few mistakes during the praise and worship.. Was kinda thinkin bout lotsa things.. Jus now i felt like a piece of plastic as tho i was transparent.. That feeling is reali indescribable.. hais.. i thought maybe if i dun think bout it, it wouldn't hurt jus as much.. but its like i cant help but do it.. hais.. it jus issnt the same anymore.. how do i and how can i face up with reality?? i reali duno wat to do liao.. i reali dunno wat i was thinkin and doin la.. i'm lost.. later still have to go back to camp.. sighhhh!!! I jus heard something on tv... courage is not the absence on fear but jus that there is something more important than fear in life.. i hope that one dae i can face this all with courage.. hais..