Wednesday, April 30, 2008 . 2:09 PM
Monday started out on the wrong note and i wasn't veri happie.. sighhh.. had to report back to camp to do OPs duty. Reached camp and slpt for awhile then i was deployed to my observation post.. I find its quite dumb and i wish it would hurry end.. The time u guys slp is the time i have to be most vigilant.. Was awake till like 2plus in the morning and then i was like indescribably bored. There were rats around and i was like "Y NOT CATCH SOME RATS". Placed some chips and before we knew it, the rats ate them all.. sighh... There goes our entertainment... Tuesday also kena deployed.. this time it was reali boring and i was like falling aslp and it gave me lotsa time to think about stuff.. I cant figure out certain issues till todae.. i reali miss those times.. Oh ya.. an officer kept calling me to join the hockey team.. He called me like over 3 times la.. I was quite hesitant at 1st but after much consideration i decided to represent 3rd division in the competition.. i know that keeping myself buzy would not help much .. i jus duno what to do..Monday, April 28, 2008 . 9:26 AM
Kinda had my 1st proper rest in days... was lyin in bed thinkin of stuff.. memories are the only things left with me thus i treasure them.. times spent with loved ones are precious.. Life is short and no one knows when who would be gone or what would happen.. Life is like a person standing on a thin piece of glass that might break anytime.. I jus cant forget..... I sometimes wish that maybe if i was like a robot then i could like jus erase all this pain.. i dun blame anyone bout all these that have happened or that are happening but i blame MYSELF for all these.. y must all these happen to me?? Everywhere i go, memories are being drawn in my mind... Life is like a flashback of my past.. Dina told me time would heal but it sure hurts for now and like forever.. Gotta go back to camp.. deployed again... ARGHHHH!!!!!Sunday, April 27, 2008 . 7:22 PM
Todae slpt at 3am den woke up at bout 7am.. went to church for service.. was kinda tired... but i guess its ok.. at least im kept occupied.. did some rewiring at the sound system cuz needed to create individual outputs for the floor monitors.. after service went to buy some christian cds. Got a dvd for the youth group to watch.. Feelin kinda dry.. hope that i would feel better soon.. Angelica is leavin soon like on tuesdae and not sure if she's comin back.. sighhh... take care alrite.. I just dread the feelin of being lost over and over again.. tomorrow hafta go back to camp and gotta be deployed again!!! ARGHHHH!! Duno if i should sleep early.. Friday was like super tiring cuz i was out at the observation post.. did something reali crazy.. put together some sticks and part of a hanger to form some plucking device.. climbed up the tree to pluck down the coconut la.. plucked bout 3 and then i cut it open with my jack knife.. Husk was rather tough but i managed to cut through it. Plucked mangoes also.. time passed rather quickly.. saturdae was even worse.. the SMA (sgt major Army) came visiting.. wanted to go hide.. lol.. Tried finding fault with me but din manage to.. hahas.. today plucked even more mangoes.. plucked about 24 mangoes in total.. i took back only 2... :(((( The rest took most of it.. sighh.. planning to go crabbing illegally but plan was foiled by some fishermen.. Oh ya... my captain was like over the comms sae that he knows where MSK is... and i was like where, where, where.... Den he reply HE IS AT LARGE!!! Watever la.... made me like happy for that moment only.. Sighh... Gotta go back to this lifestyle again this monday.. wonder when this would ever end.... Still freekin upset.. >.<Thursday, April 24, 2008 . 3:00 PM
Outta camp for like 8 hours.. was kinda like played out by some guy and had to cover his duty. Was deployed at an observation post to prevent MSK from escaping. Did not reali get any rest.. Tomorrow morning, im goin out again.. Sighhh... Reali tired.. Had maggie mee for dinner 3 days in a row.. cant think straight... hais.... needa wake up!!! Made plans for the youth...Sunday, April 20, 2008 . 5:47 PM
Today service was good.... Who am i tryin to kid?? sighh... couldn't concentrate at all.. do i have to go through this twice?? pain's super killin me.. Y not jus shoot me or something.... i still remember i was supposed to get u the rifle.. knew u were kidding but i still remember.. things can nvr be the same again.. PS. lets go to aus together.... WAKE UP JON!!!! Dont be a FOOL!!Saturday, April 19, 2008 . 10:55 PM
Day did not seem to get better.. went down to the hairdresser 3 times to find my regular hairdresser not around.. sighhh... i guess the saying 'its nvr rains but pours' kinda true. brought my grandma out to eat den went to sim lim to get something for my computer. Dad complaining that the comp too slow blah blah blah and so i went to buy the RAM. Den rushed down to church for practice.. wasn't in the best of moods but i couldn't jus pull a long face ritee.. Practice went on longer than usual and i was tryin to keep myself from losin my cool.. a change of enviroment would do me some good.. The pain is reali killin me.. Leeching the life outta whatevers' left in me.. sighh.. wonderin if i'll get any rest tonight.. all this i have myself to blame.. Y not treasure till something's lost.. Living in regrets hurts more that anything else.. wat else can i do other than unlocking the waterworks?? sighh...
Trying not to emo.. sighhh..
Failure
Failure doesn't mean - You are a failure,It means - You have not succeeded.
Failure doesn't mean - You accomplished nothing,It means - You've learned something.
Failure doesn't mean - That you have been a fool,It means - You had a lot of faith.
Failure doesn't mean - You've been disgraced.It means - You were willing to try.
Failure doesn't mean - You don't have it.It means - You have to do something in a different way.
Failure doesn't mean - You are inferior.It means -You are not perfect.
Failure doesn't mean - You've wasted your life.It means - You have a reason to start afresh.
Failure doesn't mean - You should give up.It means - You must try harder.
Failure doesn't mean -You'll never make it.It means - It will take a little longer.
Failure doesn't mean - God has abandoned you.It means - God has a better way for you.
Sometimes failure might hold me back but who knows, this might just be God's way of telling me "BOY WAKE UP AND GET ON THE RIGHT PATH!! I HAVE A BETTER PLAN AND PURPOSE FOR YOU!!" Maybe leaving God to be God is the best SOLUTION. Read someone's blog this morning and i gotta admit that i was pretty upset. but i constantly have to remind myself. Who is this person to you?? Sighhh... i simply have no right at all.. i reali need to get out of my shadow and walk away. Easier said than done right?? Things are different now, veri different. Things and pespective changed in a twinkle and thats it.. sighh.. maybe it jus wasn't meant to be.. but memories would always be kept in the heart not the mind. What a way to start today..
ARGHHHHHH!!
Friday, April 18, 2008 . 7:42 PM
Precious Memories
This week was rather stressful for me. Week started off fine at 1st. mondae was good. spent some quality time expressin myself to someone close yet time is always not sufficient when u need it. words cannot describe the feelin to be cared for or when concern is showered upon you. How i wish that time like this would nvr end. Tuesdae came and i guess its back to physical training. Been searchin for that "guy" who's been on the run so i think i grew fatter!! :((( Wednesay came and went. then thursdae too.. did 'COS' duty 3 days in a row.. reali tired.. i need a break. sometimes i wish jus for a listenin ear, someone to be there wen i reali need a shoulder but its seems that......... hais.. There's jus one person to put back that smile on my face. i couldn't help but sulk all the way home jus now.. life has its ups and downs. sighhh.. this week was mostly downs. i miss her... reali do...
Sunday, April 13, 2008 . 6:09 PM
this mornin woke up feelin a little better. had to go down earlier to church to practice for the service. went to buy breakfast for my mother and grandmother. bought for myself the currypuff but din have any appetite. worship went rather well but the sermon was rather long.. hahas.. i cant reali sit still can i?? hahas.. after service, rushed to parkway parade to buy a cake for one of the members in my youth group. teaching at the group was not easy but at least i put in my effort to teach. i couldn't reali concentrate much todae.. countless thoughts runnin through my mind. might not be able to go for the church camp cuz of some activation in the army.. sighhh.. gotta go back to camp soon.. more physical training..
After serviceAlso i've been reading this book. its reali good. u've gotta read it.
Saturday, April 12, 2008 . 10:06 PM
Todae i went to white sands to get some stuff from popular and had two pieces of bread for lunch. wasn't feelin reali well. came back home and watched night at the museum. brought back lotsa memories. went to church to practice for tomorrow's service. time i introduced my beautiful awesome 'wife'.
Les Paul Special - Smartwood seriesjus got back from practice and im reali tired out. kinda wished that i hadn't said some stuff cuz i think i made someone angry. Why can't i jus sae the right thing at the right time. i mean its jus so hard at times. gonna take a bath and hope i feel better tomorrow. later still need to prepare the youth lesson. teaching on water baptism... need to snap outta my dream and face reality.. Help me!!!
What can i sae, life in the army is ever so hectic and tiring. Just finished a week of training and booked outta camp. Yesterday i went for a concert at the Max Pavilion. They invited planetshakers and Tim Huges. Wasn't too bad. enjoyed most of it. Actually thought that i would be able to see ---- but was kinda disappointed. I sometimes wonder if people go to such concerts cuz they adore the band or do they really go there to worship God. I mean its like i overheard a conversation between two guys that they were going there cuz their fwens told them that there were plenty of girls to go around. Whats wrong with the kids todae!!! No offence but is that the right attitude? These are the little things that got me thinking.. What is our generation comin to? Finally having time to start up my new blog. I really need more time...... Wanna get outta the army.. SIGH!!!!
Labels: Thoughts of yesterdae